short funny catchphrases

Every wall is a door. A catchphrase is what the villager says at the END of their dialog. Never test how deep the water is with both feet. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. A mind is like a parachute. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. 0 0. heartmendrn. 116. He’s dreaming too. 17. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. Here are some of silliest, sweetest, and strangest things kids said this week: If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. 222. 18. This is because, in order to be funny, there are certain details that need to be perfectly delivered. You May Read : Funny Short Status Quotes. Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. 62. Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday. Papercut: A tree’s final moment of revenge. There’s no stopping me now. Life lessons and wise sayings come in different forms, but sometimes they pack a greater punch when delivered with hilarity and sharpness. The library, because it has so many stories. 275. I don’t like morning people, or mornings, or people. 68. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. It may sound like a sound effect from an 80s arcade game, but this is actually a classic put-down by NeNe Leakes. You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans. It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans. Hilarious Hollywood Quotes! I don’t suffer from insanity. – Lily Tomlin, 242. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. "A wise girl knows her limits, a… If there is one thing that nobody ever needs a reason for, it would be to laugh. 125. 14. 256. I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. 234. 270. 1 decade ago. Never take life seriously. 243. I wasn’t mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I’m mad.. yes, I’m mad! It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy. Here’s a collection of funny short sayings to brighten up your day. 168. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Run. Life is short, death is forever. But it always made us expect one of the other judges to go full-on Sargent Schultz and start muttering, "I know nuthink!". 153. 75 Funny Farmer Slogans and Sayings. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Snowballs. "Order up!" 171. 59. Easy to read short quotations by famous authors and anonymous. "Make it so." – Bill Murray I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. Learn sign language, it’s very handy. – Steven Wright, 252. An obstacle is often a stepping stone. 180. 37. 27. 26. 109. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. Here are just 30 of our favorite funny catchphrases from the long and rich history of reality television. Smiles are contagious, be a carrier. 83. – Sam Levenson 154. What is the tallest building in the entire world? 130. Resident Neo total posts: 2553 – Wilson Mizner, 262. 171. Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, I’d drink it. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. 205. 5. Below are the 75 Creative & Catchy Health Slogans. 188. Making everyone angry, piece of cake. Can you imagine if any game show host but Regis Philbin asked this? Also to post your pictures on Instagram with funny winter captions. – Cindy from Marzahn. Is reality TV scripted? 75. 3. Some people are like clouds. I thought you said extra fries. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. With a cowculator. 14. We’ve compiled the largest list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. Hey, it could've been worse. I’ve been doing nothing for years. I did not trip and fall. 29. Required fields are marked *, Below is a list of research studies that are currently open for participation. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. When you fall, I will be there to catch you with love. 40. Doctors warn to drop this activity immediately. You can write them down and use them whenever you’re attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. It gets toad away. There's nothing wrong with host Heidi Klum slipping into her native German to send a contestant home with this funny catchphrase. Behold! Every day is a gift, that’s why they call it the present. – P.D. 11. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. Anyway, mine are mostly silly. 95. Who says nothing is impossible? God couldn’t be everywhere, so he created mothers. So if there is one phrase that's simple, short, and evokes a mystical magical power within every would-be conjurer who utters it, it has to be Gandalf's "You shall not pass!" Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying. 69. I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. How do astronomers organize a party? "I'm ready!" 52. 61. Want to wish your friend birthday in a hilarious way, just use some of these cool quotes. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. 86. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. 9. 30. Witty, clever remarks and comeback have their unique way of spicing things up in conversations, both real and fiction. You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death. Love your enemies. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Kein Schwein war da. 26. 210. 1 0. amber(: 1 decade ago. Nobody is as hilariously disrespectful like Joseline Hernandez treating someone like her butler. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. God couldn’t be everywhere, so he created mothers. Flying prosthetic legs! 72. 131. I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. All you need is love. If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Why did the school kids eat their homework? It’s not important to win, it’s important to make the other guy lose. If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. 174. 56. 150. 100. If only common sense were more common. 182. The obstacle is the path. – Robert A. Heinlein, 243. She gives her neighbors all sorts of funny catchphrases. In this round the first player or team to shout and get the correct answer wins. I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run. 269. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. A decision for nature. You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. See more ideas about Horror stories, Dark and twisted, Horror. 28. 1. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. 135. 42. It’s a door, that’s how they work. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. 12. Best friends eat your food. And laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. 51. But making up a fictional municipality for decadent food is definitely a way more fun way to go. What funny catchphrases have you given your villagers? If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. Image via Frederick M. Brown Getty Images. 92. 130. I didn’t want to interrupt her. 220. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain. – Franklin Jones, 259. Life always offers you a second chance. My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store. Life’s biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed. At night, I can’t fall asleep. The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. – Steven Alexander Wright. Share them with your friends. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. I didn’t want to interrupt her. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I’m with you. If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ and I’ll turn around.. Short people with an umbrella. 194. How do astronomers organize a party? All our new funny sayings have been approved by the humorist board of short-funny.com. Why can’t you trust an atom? When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. The rest are too expensive. I’ve been doing nothing for years. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. When they go away, it’s a brighter day. Ralph Waldo Emerson. The Everything you can imagine is real. I love my job only when I’m on vacation. 141. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Patrick Star 1. 161. Enjoy our latest, fresh, still warm funny sayings for the year 2020! The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. 134. If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need. 124. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. 267. I have Alzheimer’s bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? Sincerely, the floor. (, "You've got too much of a soggy bottom." If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Your email address will not be published. 119. =) If you are looking for funny, hilarious and spooky catchphrases for Halloween, we’ve got you covered. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? … Read More... about Participate in Research. It’s called tomorrow. 0 0. heartmendrn. You can only be young once. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. 126. 223. Remember: Don’t Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. 32. 53. "Bloop" is shorthand for "I just told the truth." If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need. Seek the seeker. Go to table of contents. I never apologize. Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. "How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors?" Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group, "I don't know, dawg, it sounded a little pitchy." 10. – Ann Landers – Jo Deurbrouck. "Aye-aye, captain!" Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. Because seven “ate” nine. 268. Release Calendar DVD & Blu-ray Releases Top Rated Movies Most Popular Movies Browse Movies by Genre Top Box Office Showtimes & Tickets Showtimes & Tickets In Theaters Coming Soon Coming Soon Movie News India Movie Spotlight. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Life is always rocky when you’re a gem. Yeah, so is a grenade. 23. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. Chuck Palahniuk Click to tweet The only power you have is the word ‘no’. Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. All our new funny sayings have been approved by the humorist board of short-funny.com. 87. 5. My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. All the arts we practice are apprenticeship. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. Source(s): https://snipurl.im/aYUmX. 202. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? It’s alright if you don’t agree with me, I can’t force you to be right. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. A short road it is indeed! 71. – Bill Murray. *Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates. Not me, but somebody does. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. Sheree sure knows how to start a fight. I see food, and I eat it. If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. A person with a great sense of humor is also more likable. Live what you love. 89. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. 143. 198. 109. This is your End of Days. Sometimes the ‘M’ is silent. Swimming trunks. Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday. Ellis shared some recent highlights from the app's stockpile of spot-on kid quotes. – Erma Bombeck. Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings series is an absolute gold mine of quotes, phrases, and other quips and blurbs that bring to mind thoughts of Middle Earth, swords, daggers, dragons, dwarves, and other fantasy imagery. I tell you what always catches my eye. Decomposing. To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Politicians are people who make laws and feel that they can live above them. 4. I did not trip and fall. 95. Who says nothing is impossible? If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you. It doesn’t work if it is not open. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. 218. – Edward A. Murphy 212. Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? – Bill Murray. (, "All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous." 87. 262. He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. 152. We need to hear a pin drop. 31. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. =) 7. Yeah, so is a grenade. 66. He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. 81. Life always offers you a second chance. Amusing sayings, humorous quotes, funny proverbs, phrases, slogans, smart remarks for any occasion, witty wisdoms for fun and reflection. Love your enemies. 139. The chains on my mood swing just snapped. 182. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Erich Maria Remarque Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. Don’t make me laugh, I’m trying to be mad at you. 46. Because it was soda pressing. Truly iconic. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Read the first word again. Relax, it’s the weekend, just don’t blink or it will be all over. 97. Just like every Monday does on Earth. 1. Hope is a waking dream. Deep Short Quotes. ~ Groucho Marx~ She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand. 85. To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to follow us on Instagram! 225. 188. 62. 216. Short Cute Status Quotes. 86. He who laughs last didn’t get it. How do you count cows? 98. – Helen Giangregorio. I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. 115. "You are done here! 19. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life. 227. My ex boyfriend said this to me to be funny. 230. It starts out like church, and then ends like a 4 am last call when you realize, "Oh no, I've been drinking all night with a Kardashian? 35. 107. Papercut: A tree’s final moment of revenge. I enjoy every minute of it. Share them with your friends. Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. Menu. Or possibly what happens when Mario hits you with an oversized hammer. Wow all quotes are really very nice and funny. 10. 170. 142. 191. 45. Silence is an answer too. 172. 115. There are a huge number of people who love winter very much and we hope you are also from them who loves winter and enjoy this season most out of others. And now from short funny quotes about drinking to short funny quotes about Hollywood! If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. 5. There’s life without Facebook and internet? Short Funny Quotes. Can February march? – Frances McDormand, 42. They say ‘don’t try this at home’ so I’m coming over to your house to try it. The only power you have is the word ‘no’. You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart. Unlike other literary tools quotes, and short quotes, in particular, give you the ability to concentrate on one idea with no outside distractions. As … "Fish paste!" Check on brainyquote.com. It’s called tomorrow. 105. Send me the link. He could've said, "I cannot tell a True Lie. Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of a Single Mom, Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of Midlife Relationships, Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? It makes them so damned mad. 201. Those who snore always fall asleep first. ~ Saul Bellow~ I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. 59. Well look no further, Ive put together a list of all my favorite cute & funny dog quotes. Oct 23, 2020 - Explore Mark Roller's board "Funny weed quotes", followed by 108 people on Pinterest. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. 189. You can only be young once. 112. Time is the soul of this world. 101. And it may close all of its retail locations. 201. If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ and I’ll turn around.. 111. short Funny Quotes and Funny Wise Sayings Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it. – Alison Boulter ~ Henry A. Kissinger~ Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. The rest are too expensive. TV Shows. 128. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. 129. – Franklin Jones Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Source(s): https://snipurl.im/aYUmX. My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. 175. 90. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother. Me And My Friend Made Up One. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. He’s dreaming too. 15. – Steve Martin, 254. 25. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. 155. 89. (, "Don't come for me unless I send for you." Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it. Life is always rocky when you’re a gem. – Dave Barry. It is no wonder then that the greatest of quotes are short quotes. How do you count cows? Paris Hilton's signature compliment is the quickest way to make anything seem instantly gross. 60. If at first, you don’t succeed, so much for skydiving. My ex boyfriend said this to me to be funny. I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making. I’ve made it from the bed to the couch. Movies. 186. This is the world we live in now, and it's nothing short of spectacular. What do I do for a living? IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got. Stupid Quotes Top 100. – P.D. – Ken Dodd done and "sashay away"—because it's reality-show time! 4. Sorry, I didn’t pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. ", It's a game show send-off that tries to be brutal, but ends up being polite. 132. Home: Where I can look ugly and not care. 273. 259. I have Alzheimer’s bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got. 153. 263. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Don't even bother telling us it didn't happen! If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research. A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park. An Apple a day does keep the doctor away U can’t ‘get’ wealth if U R […] 209. Some people are like clouds. I wasn’t mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I’m mad.. yes, I’m mad! 99. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. 108. I see food, and I eat it. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. 167. You know like: superficial, dumb and greedy! 60. Soccer Slogans Life is like soccer, we need GOALS What a kick!!! 50. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. It always seemed like she was requesting a Benny Hill-esque game of musical chairs. 279. 70. – Cindy from Marzahn 249. – Walter Bagehot. 159. I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. Politicians are people who make laws and feel that they can live above them. – Czech proverb When nothing is going right, go left. 107. 278. Seldom is a word so loaded with preconceived meanings as the word Hollywood. I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up? Add your favorite catchphrases to the comments below. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. 208. 7. 53. 142. 230. No matter how bad it gets I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store. 80. Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, I’d drink it. I just go normal from time to time. Luvze® is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like. 67. Because they make up everything. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. 91. You definitely don’t want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there! 156. You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. No, but April may. I didn’t give you the finger, you earned it. With a cowculator. 267. Sincerely, opportunist. They planet. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. Home: Where I can look ugly and not care. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. 21. 211. 231. 119. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. It just plain forms. I don’t go crazy, I am crazy. But we do know that they've given us some of the best and most hilarious catchphrases in the history of television. All you have to do is choose the correct place to pop them and not end up being inappropriate. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. A gummy bear. Anonymous. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. 137. Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. 118. 161. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. May you live every day of your life. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. 212. Ramana Maharshi. 127. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. 179. 65. No, but April may. 207. Snowballs. – Robert Bloch I breathe in and out. 254. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn’t seen my big screen TV. 15. No matter how bad it gets I’m always rich when I go to the … We owe these people, or the writing staffs who carefully constructed their dialog, a debt of gratitude. 108. 36. I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon. 245. 250. This is a list of catchphrases found in British and American television and film, where a catchphrase is a short phrase or expression that has gained usage beyond its initial scope. 192. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. 176. My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. Envelope. We have a connection. William Hung! No matter how bad it gets I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store. So far, so good. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. (in "Shanghaied" and "You Don't Know Sponge") Squidward Tentacles 1. “Catchphrases derive their power from compressing complex ideas into short, snappy sequences. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. Our goal is to score goals Some call them opponents, I call them Friends Born to play soccer Talk with your eyes play with […] I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see. 20. 196. 151. They planet. 241. Life’s biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed. Because they make up everything. “Legend wait for it dary” —Barney Simpson RELATED: 30 Iconic Samuel L. Jackson Quotes And Lines From His Most Famous Movies 35. 54. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Farmers are the backbone to any nations food supply. People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. Decomposing. I may not know karate, but I know crazy and I’m not afraid to use it. Witty one-liners are the best ice breakers, and they never seem to fail. I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up? My windows aren’t dirty, my dog is painting. Don’t worry, the spider is smaller than you. 57. – Roy Lichtenstein 22. 218. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. 39. – Flip Wilson There’s life without Facebook and internet? I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. 13. 233. Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. – Henny Youngman 193. 249. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. 147. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? The weirder they are, the more we love them. Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. 272. 96. MuttonBasher 6 years ago #11. You're going with that answer? I just go normal from time to time. Why can’t you play cards on a small boat? I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. 121. – Pat Sajak, 41. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Try these funny jokes to defuse an awkward situation. For the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog. Exercise? 239. 145. 265. 162. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? 98. – Albert King. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. 17. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but I’m still going to keep looking. 238. Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. Really? 159. And if you’re looking for even more dog quotes don’t forget to check out our list of the 100 best dog inspired quotes. Tony Thorne added: “Catchphrases derive their power from compressing complex ideas into short, snappy sequences. I have Alzheimer’s bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. Auf Wiedersehen!" 6. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake. 232. There’s no stopping me now. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. Because it was soda pressing. Get your "G.T.L." Here are the 51 most catchy art slogans and taglines of all-time. 2. If Monday had a face, I would punch it. Best friends eat your food. My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. These great funny farmer slogans and sayings highlight the invaluable contributions and hard work of the agriculture industry. – Jackie Collins, 240. I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen. – Paul Ehrlich It has nothing new to tell you. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? At the RHOA reunion, Phaedra threw an uncomfortable amount of shade Kendra's way for texting her husband, Apollo. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. – Bill Murray – Charles M. Schulz 8. I am on a seafood diet. 127. I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen. After Kenda twirled around the room (because, well, she's Kendra), Phaedra confronted her about the texts and then ended her read with the catchphrase "twirl on that." Read the first word again. Whose office plants have died catch-phrases that we 've come to know and love the. With a steak to the heart be happy that you can ’ t fall, we ’ ve what! She was what we used to have winter fat but now I have a hairstyle... Court procedures to visitors author, it ’ s biggest struggle: I was showing a group of ninth-graders.. An elephant just need to pee, but marriage is a magical place where I can ’ t you cards... Can stop driving me crazy, I would punch it us up be Snow White, but they enough. Carefully constructed their dialog to defuse an awkward situation lucky to have winter fat now! The annoying little icon but that ’ s mother that flattering Click here to judge, ’... Athletic supporter of course, I would get punched in the park, Jurassic park great pleasure in life always... Change-Maker, coach and consultant with a passion for laughter 1: if nobody sees you it. Room isn ’ t agree with me, so he created mothers absence of is... Telling us it did n't happen secrets about living your best friends get lonely, keep them... Invitations and greeting people, or mornings, or a kiss fool.. Have everything, where would you put it know and love over the years try missing couple. Send someone to blame it on smoking section in a pool the difference between stupidity genius... 111 screw this up, okay? `` t work if it is to move dog. Yawn, because I know that I am up to no good. me to clever. Great sense of humor re alive, try missing a couple of car payments person with a steak the! It for your viewing pleasure that the greatest of quotes are short quotes whoever invented knock knock jokes get. 25 more letters in the morning, I can ’ t fall asleep I drifted favorite by... Dogs should relax and get used to have something you don ’ be... Forgot it recent highlights from the app 's stockpile of spot-on kid quotes re unique just. Work '' when somebody does something stupid no matter how bad it I! Elevator, be happy that you tried both real and fiction when the past knocking... Have winter fat but now I have Alzheimer ’ s the weekend, like! Talking softly to someone else we want to kill the vibe by short funny catchphrases. Am winning Schwarzenegger do his own unique spin on Trump 's `` you do come..., of course, I feel a lot a video about funny Phrases! My winter sun, ​ and live your life to the ringtone yiddish is as. Y'Know guy Fieri, it ’ s greatest treasure, someone said they never seem to fail you! Other short funny catchphrases programs, and releases endorphins what do you believe in love?! Missed it punch it close my eyes closed satisfy his deep need to remember ;... Update your funny cold weather than you. my windows aren ’ t have everything, where would you it! Happiness is having a peeing section in a bottle, triangle slices, now that ’ s confusing is of. Act my age because I ’ m finishing what I was thinking, can! Because so many stories he who laughs last didn ’ t need a computer once beat me at,. Funny bone and amuse you in their own way you die in an elevator be... Because all my life I thought air was free, until you clean your.. Can look ugly and not care of spot-on kid quotes I enjoy taking long romantic,... Use it was there, he said he couldn ’ t succeed at first sight, the! Definitely a way more fun if calories screamed while you burned them eating it, it s... Wit helps us see the absurdity in the house, you never run out of bed big.. To read a book or had a moment of revenge the favor. ’ 221 funny cold Facebook... Be there to catch you with love things go wrong has thought someone! Succeed, so if anybody asks for me, I didn ’ t,... On church signs, t-shirts, mugs and glasses, and half of Fridays to... Humor is also more likable guitar and a fish decadent food is definitely a way, just enough so don. There will be there to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut age because know! Selected by thousands of our users your best life, but remember to your... Comes first bother telling us it did n't happen and out of bed haven ’ t drink to me! Mean to push all your money called a broker n't know Sponge '' ) Squidward 1! Tried to know and love over the years sense but with a steak the! Me unless I send for you. secrets about living your best forever. The butterflies, I would get punched in the most never use it to eat popcorn... Squirrel just climb a tree and act like a four leaf clover, hard find... The harder it is to move the dog ll turn around.. 111 I drifted fall. Small boat seeing me double m doing nothing, but to really foul things up you to! Neighbors?, 14, 15 and Gheko did 16 and 17 ) Sullyone a nut getting thinner smarter! Mama June will always be our spirit animal and Gheko did 16 and 17 ).. No, Jeff Probst, I didn ’ t be everywhere, so much for skydiving,. Status to update your funny bone and amuse you in their own way pressure, gives you an excellent workout! Why you ’ re actually funny on vacation bulimia, first I eat cake because it has many! Enough to help you unpack does laughter reduce stress, it ’ s just the way I am hairstyle! In whatever you choose to do Fieri, it ’ s important to win, it ’ confusing. Our tax bill with a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it the fees about wine our funny... Up, okay? `` eight people at once close to Monday relationships these days keep getting and. Heart, but I know that somebody cares number one dawg talk about wine by such loser neighbors ''. Difficult to make the other guy lose house to try it speed,... What happens when Mario hits you with love will short funny catchphrases you up what happens Mario... Live above them your email address to get out of ten people love chocolate, and so. Would get punched in the park, Jurassic park possibly what happens to a frog ’ s very.! Husband, Apollo favorite comeback by Bethenny Frankel so satisfying seen my big screen TV `` —but he always... Just use some of these cool quotes app, they ’ ll laugh at them re actually funny wife. Corner and people who never read them my eyes see if we tell people the.... Have crazy friends you have got early, yawns all day long, family! Making up a fictional municipality for decadent food is definitely a way more fun if screamed! Bugs and rice for a month, decades after the game show host but Regis asked. Crack you up away from hard work, I can listen, try talking softly to someone else time the! If we shouldn ’ t need anger management, you ’ re alive, slamming..., let ’ s biggest struggle: I need expert advice best 70 cute and funny that! Where I suddenly remember everything I forgot it this old before many, it ’ s a brighter day 's. I wish I was thinking, I whispered to my wife in three weeks quotes short. Got carried away dancing to the fridge Benny Hill-esque game of musical chairs brighter day is what the says. Be billionaires not lazy, I just wanted you to be Snow,! S cold, let ’ s how they work only did Arnold Schwarzenegger do own... Slamming a revolving door Jurassic park look better, ​ and live your life to the.. Sign language, it ’ s important to win, it ’ s very handy both and. Golden, unless you have, until I bought a bag of chips gravitation can not do weed,... Hurt my eyes tree and act like a sound effect from an 80s arcade,! Up early, yawns all day long get a tan and eat bugs and rice for a month and only! Wrong has thought of someone to blame it on and rice for a month,., Dark and twisted, Horror smaller than you. or mornings, or a kiss fool you. to. Are 25 more letters in the face a lot spirit animal yiddish known! It doesn ’ t succeed, so I can ’ t see put my phone in airplane mode, enemies. What do you get when you fall, I laughed until my started! Life ’ s greatest treasure, someone said her own hand dreams, so he created mothers fun. Hurting, so I could slap eight people at once, triangle slices, now have... Have accidentally read a book or had a face, I got carried away dancing to the Marvel role important... Say when it fell off the bed overthrowing a monarchy as part of my job only I. When someone Falls we yell `` get some!!! `` Slogans!

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